Me and Daniel

Me and Daniel
Me and my then 8 year old son, 20 years ago.

Wednesday, 6 August 2014

Voices, Poetry and Fun

A few weeks back I saw Vladimir Putin on tv blathering on and on, spinning a tale about how the passenger jet MH17 was not shot down by the Russians, and it suddenly occurred to me that I was not actually hearing his voice. I was hearing the voice of the interpreter. There was a point in the broadcast where the interpreter had finished interpreting, and Putin was still talking, his voice unobstructed, scraping across the atmosphere like a weasel digging itself out of a wooden shoe box.
 (??? Wooden shoe box?!...think of all the jobs that would be created if we would just sign on to the 'wooden shoe box industry'..)...(Who put this weasel in my best wooden shoe box?!)
When I heard his actual voice, it didn't sound like what I thought it would sound like.
 It seemed softer and more mellow then I had imagined it....(I mean, not that I regularly 'imagine' the voices of evil dictators or anything like that...)'s just that his actual voice didn't sound as evil as I had assumed it would. 
Sometimes you can't really tell who's evil and who's not by the sound of their voices.


Speaking of pure evil, every time someone asks me to read their poem(s), my brain glazes over. 
I'm sorry. 
It just does and there's very little I can do about it. It happens automatically and without any prompt other than a voice calling out in the wilderness,
"Hey, wanna hear this poem I wrote?"
The thing is that average poetry, written by the average person, is horrible, and taken way too seriously for my liking. Most times I don't feel like these poems are a true representation of the authors voice.
Just to be clear, you're not the first person to compare the depth and beauty of your love to an ocean...come on aspiring poets...(is 'poet' an actual aspiration of anyone these days?....('aspiration?'....I'm thinking of someone choking to death on their poems!))...(sorry, there's nothing we can do for him...he's got afflatus stuck on his adams apple..) least compare your love to something more reliable and trustworthy....(reliable? trustworthy? wonder my poetry is so bad!)

Anyway, I digress.

.... I heard fairly recently that it actually rains diamonds on Neptune! That would be something to see. 
Am I the only one on the planet who didn't know this before? It seems that everyone I talk to (in my actual voice...not the interpretation you see here), claims to have already known this.
 This prompts me to ask the question....
Did you know that there is such a thing...somewhere in the diamond showers?
Of course they are uncut diamonds, not polished gems. 

This just in, 
Life long contrarion denies extreme heat wave bothers him. 
"I actually love it when it gets super hot like this", said Robert Thompson, 29, as his feet melted into a bloody, fatty puddle and stuck to the inside of his Crocs.


Would you drive a car called the 'Ford Ferret'?
Or the 'Pontiac Gorilla'?
I don't know about the Gorilla, but I'd drive the 'Kia Hyena'....seems like that would be fun times waiting to happen.
Imagine the ads....the voice of a disembodied 'Hyena spokesman'.....
"Where can YOU go in YOUR new 2014 Hyena?..." (stock footage of hyenas in Africa tearing apart a zebra carcass, as their cackling, snapping voices fill the frame)...."...anywhere adventure waits"...(????...of course the Kia Hyena would come in spots or stripes...)

"Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me now!
It's fun to have fun,
but you have to know how"
~ Dr. Seuss


  1. Yes, modern poetry mostly sucks. Yes, some people still aspire to it. Unfortunately, they don't bother to learn how to write actual poetry, because people tend to think that if you make it -look- like poetry then it -is- poetry, which is just not true.

    1. I totally agree! Some people who want to write poetry don't think there are any rules to it, no guidelines, they just scratch it down and try to pass it off (proudly) as poetry. I don't want to quash anyone's creative urge, but there is more to a good poem then 'what rhymes with ocean'.

  2. When I read a poem I want to know what it is saying and not have to go through an interpreter who may or not know the language of the person who has written the piece. I think some of the scholarly interpretations of a lot of poems is high-falutin' balderdash.

    Tossing It Out

    1. Well said Lee. It reminds me of something I heard a song writer say when he heard how some 'experts' had intrepreted his lyrics. I wish I could remember who it was, but he basically said that they can read whatever they want to into the song, but he didn't intend any of was just meant to be a catchy song and nothing more.

  3. Hey Eve. I really like your post even though I am somewhat of a poet myself.. Or should I say I aspire to be a poet. I do agree with you though that lots of it does really seem to be bad stuff. I guess I would have to compare my love to a bottle of blackberry brandy on a really cold night. Hey, I didn't know it rained diamonds on Neptune but I'll be looking for some next time I visit Neptune. Great to see you back blogging girl. I've been missing ya! "HUGS"

    1. Hey Ron! Yeah, I think we're all guilty of having written some bad poetry in our lifetimes. Especially as teenagers. And for sure there are some excellent poets and poems out there. I do like the blackberry brandy/love comparison, at least it's original.
      It is good to be back, I just hope I can find the time to keep up semi-regular posts!

  4. When an interpreter stops talking before the other person does, it makes me wonder what he really said. My mom had a very pleasant voice, so there you go...

    I have written hundreds of poems and even have a poetry/prose page on my blog. Having said that, I really DON'T like poetry. I really hate poems that rhyme or are written in the "proper" meter. To me, it's all about conveying emotions that come from somewhere deep, or painting a picture with as few words as possible.

    1. Hey Pat, I always wonder if the interpreter is telling the truth about what the person said. The only way to know for sure, I suppose, is to learn every other! ...somewhere out there is a person who knows 50 languages.
      I do like poetry, but not most of it...if that makes sense. I love Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein, and I realize that in saying that people may get the idea that I have slightly childish sensibilities....and I guess they wouldn't be half wrong....(I know you're thinking 'slightly?'! I actually do like other poems too and I've written my share of poems that vary on the 'abysmal to average' scale.


Comments are most appreciated.