Have you heard of corduroy pillowcases? They're making headlines........head lines........head-lines......
.................hellooo??......is this thing on?.....oh, sorry......I thought I was somewhere else.....
Do you guys remember Ninja Turtles? My kids were Ninja crazy in the eighties. I frigging HATED that show, but the boys Loved it.
They knew all the names and bios of all the turtles....they had Turtle lunch kits....Turtle blankets.....Turtle bowls.....Turtle Towels (!) .....Turtle underwear....
The Ninja Turtles were almost like a boy band for boys between six and eleven years old......okay twelve.
(I mean, if we're to gauge the depth of their devotion to Turtle Power using preteen girl devotion to Justin Bieber, (or One Direction) as a comparison....).....
For those of us of a certain age, who may not be fully aware of Justin Bieber, just think David Cassidy...(too far back?....(shit, I was afraid this would happen!))......OK, Shaun Cassidy........
Still not your era........okay........(quick, brain...think of a teen idol whose reigned betwen 1979 and 2000!)......
nope, (I can't think of any)
sorry, that's it! The Cassidy boys.....only teen idols EVER...
.....do you think it felt strange to them that they were BOTH teen idols?.....
....I don't know....I think it would be weird to have a teen idol in the family.....
......especially if it was a guy who remained a 'teen' idol long into his adulthood.
If that were the case I think that any family member who cared would have no choice but to sit the 'idol' down and say,
"What's with the sparkly pants?? You're a grown man for fucksake!"
And now, a message from the mayor:
One of the debates here about the whole Rob Ford situation is that, we realize that Ford is representing our whole country and not just the city of Toronto, to Europeans and Americans.
(The rest of the world is just trying to live their lives..)
Apparently Rob Ford is a big hit in Holland.....the Dutch are like..
..."If that's the MAYOR, imagine what the rest of them are like!!! Let's go PAR-TAY!"
Many of us are okay with that image, and many more are embarrassed by it.
I think the whole thing is pretty damn entertaining, (I would venture to say that many Canadians know someone like Rob Ford, and many of us have had a 'Rob Ford' in our families).
Make no mistake, Canadians are secretly thrilled to have had a world wide media circus in their country.......I know this because I am one.....no, no, I don't mean I'm one who's thrilled to bits about the crack mayor or anything like that, I mean I am one Canadian......
Canadians have a peculiar habit of getting overly excited when any other Canadian 'makes it big', or is mentioned in news that happens outside our country. I wonder if this happens in other countries?
For instance, are Hungarians, (for example) thrilled whenever a fellow Hungarian becomes a big deal?
It's not enough to be a big deal, say in Europe, or Asia....to really be considered as having 'made it', you must be a 'big deal' to Americans. I don't know why this is....but it is.
We almost consider it a matter of national pride to be able to reel off a list of Hollywood elite, sports heroes and musicians who are Canadian.
Being Canadian, and living in such close proximity to America is kind of like having a rich neighbour with all kinds of cool 'toys', gigantic house, swimming pool, and a really high fence.
Every once in a while we bounce as high as we can on our pogo sticks in an effort to see over the fence. It goes kind of like this.......
What's that ya got there?.......(BoUnce)........Is that the....(.bOUncE).....new Barbequematic 10....(BOUncE) .... thousand?.....Ya, we heard you ...(BouNcE) ..fire up the new sound (boUnCe)....system the other day.....(BOuNCE)....sounds beauty eh?
Oh! (bOUNce) .....if you see Will.....(bounce)... iam Shatner tell 'em (bOuNcE) the CBC wants him to (bOuncE) narrate a special on the mour....(BOuNCE) ning dove.
David Su....(bOUnce) zuki backed out.
........ The afore mentioned David and Shaun Cassidy are NOT Canadian.....there were American.....probably still are.
I'm not sure I like this trend of long-ago pop stars playing the casino circuit to thrill middle aged women. I mean, yeah, it is sort of cool to see them and re-live some of our youth, and to see that they have aged right along with us.....(although, face it, most of them age weird.....I mean....what the hell is up with that? Bruce Jenner, (even though he is NOT a pop star, (or Canadian) he IS a weird-ager)) looks like an old woman.
And, as much as I love him, let's face it, Paul McCartney also looks kind of like an old woman now. Sometimes it is very difficult to decipher the sex of someone who is irretrievably elderly.
That's one more thing we have in common with infants, if we are fortunate enough to live to such an age.
I mean, if you live long enough so that people can't really tell if you're a man or a woman, then you've lived a long time.
In a couple more years Paul McCartney will look exactly like Angela Lansbury.
The present is where the past and the future meet to exchange hostages.