Me and Daniel

Me and Daniel
Me and my then 8 year old son, 20 years ago.

Sunday, 5 October 2014

A Great Autumn, Nursery Rhymes and Names

We are having the greatest fall here!
 I mean the season.
It's been so warm and sunny, but also's strange...autumn.
 It's like the year is at its most beautiful when it's dying....even though that does sound super seems to be true. Sometimes there's a grain of truth in corny sayings.....(which is a corny saying(!))
I guess the year isn't dying though....the summer is...still.

You know what no one says anymore?
'Sensational'. As in, "I saw this sensational movie on Friday."
The word 'sensational' is out of fashion. As is the name 'Matilda'.  And also 'Myrtle'.

I just saw on tv tonight that Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis had a baby girl, and the couple is "over the moon about it!"....and I thought....'isn't that what always happens?'
 You don't often see the new parents go, "Well. Frankly we're not too happy with it. It's got a head like a wedge of brie. We'd like a refund."
I wonder if they'll name her Myrtle?! That would be great for all those Myrtles who have been left out of the name tag industry. Suddenly Myrtle will be a popular name again.
And when that happens, there will be people who will claim that they've always liked the name Myrtle, even though the evidence will prove otherwise.
Those celebrities always give their kids screwed up names. Like Methuselah. That is most likely some poor kids name. Well, he or she is not really a 'poor' kid. They've got money. What they don't got is a regular name.
And for some of them, I don't mean that they have a super dorky human name..
(although sometimes they do...let's ask Moses Martin about that.)..
(or a name that is suddenly assigned to the opposite sex???? like if a girl is called Cameron or me it's like having a boy called Debbie....or ....Louise...I mean, you could do it. You could totally call your son Louise if you want to I guess...but just think it over..)...
..I mean...some of them are named after household appliances for god's sake! Like...Frank Zappa's kids...Moon Unit One and Dweezil...what's the matter with people?
 (I mean, not that a 'Moon Unit' is a household appliance or anything...infact, I'm not even sure what it is...I'm pretty sure that it's a 'what', not a 'who' though.....except in the case of poor, unfortunate 'Moon Unit One Zappa'.)
You shouldn't do that to a kid.
It's like calling your kid 'End Table', or 'Grease Trap'.
(Yes, but we call him Greasy, and that's kind of cute.) ('s pronounced 'Greee-say')

 Of course no one knows who Frank Zappa is anymore, so that's a bad reference I guess...but still...Imagine if your name was Moon Unit...wouldn't you want to throttle the stoner that gave you that name?!

I was just thinking of that old nursery rhyme, 'Jack Sprat would eat no Fat'.....when I was a kid my brother and I had a book of rhymes and that one was in it.
Each rhyme had a picture beside it, and for this rhyme the picture was a real skinny, nervous looking guy, sitting at the table with a bare plate in front of him.
 There may have been a single bean on it, I forget.
 And the woman, (Jack Sprat's wife) had huge, billowing rolls of fat all over her, and a plate heaped with lumps of fat. She was greasy and smiling.
 Sitting on the floor, looking up at the man, was a super skinny cat.
 I always used to wonder about the cat. Like, why was he so skinny? I mean, the rhyme didn't say anything about the cat being skinny.
In fact, the rhyme didn't mention a cat at all!
When I first saw the picture it was a surprise that they even had a cat....but now that the jig was up, and the cat was out of the bag, (so to speak)...I think he should have been fed.
 Or maybe run away with Old Mother Hubbard's dog.
It was unsettling for me as a pre-schooler to look at that picture. Nursery rhyme people didn't take care of their animals, or their children very well.
I don't know if nursery rhymes are still in style.
Some of them were pretty wicked....mean witches eating little was all in good fun I suppose...
These days a lot of people don't like nursery rhymes cause they say they are damaging to the children, but you know, I don't ever remember thinking that nursery rhymes were real. I always knew they were made up stories, even when I was small. I think we should not underestimate the intelligence of children.
I read my kids the 'Fe Fi Fo Fum' rhyme, (sorry I forget what it's called) and that one has a guy talking about smelling blood and grinding bones.....hmmmm......on second thought, that doesn't sound quite right does it?
Call now! Operators are standing by to take your call!
Call 555-FIVE

Earlier on the news I heard a guy say, "It's clear that this fellow......(blah blah blah)".....and I thought he said, "...this is a clear fellow..."....and that got me to thinking how weird it would be if there WERE clear fellows....or people.
I wonder what that would do to racism? I mean if EVERYONE was clear, not that the clear people become the latest target of racists.
If we were all clear, all we'd see of each other is what's on the inside...not the 'deep inside' though...we'd see what's just on the other side of the skin...muscle and fat mostly.
I was just thinking of Ken Kesey, and I'm not sure why. He wrote 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest', which was one of my favourite books, and a damn fine movie too!
I don't think he was clear.
Well, maybe he was, but you had to look very carefully.
Finally, (I know I know, you're thinking THANK GOD!)...I heard that Chelsea Clinton had a baby girl, and I thought, 'Of course she did.'
 I think all the ex Presidents of the USA have daughters, don't they? Well, let's see...Bill and Hilary Clinton have Chelsea, and now little 'grandChelsea', O'Bama has two daughters....who else is there?!?....
OH! I guess Old Bush has a son, doesn't he?
Sounds like a horrible affliction, but sadly, one that awaits us all...
"Sorry Myrtle. There's no easy way to put this. You've got a sensational case of Old Bush."
And FINALLY....(okay!...I admit the former 'finally' turned out to be a bit of a misnomer as it turns out I have something more to say)...It is a beautiful morning! is here let's get out and at least take a few deep, full breaths of this sensational, crispy autumn air!
Also, if you're so inclined, try to work the word 'sensational' into a conversation today.
We'll bring it back to its former glory.

Have a sensational day everyone!


  1. What a truly sensational entry Eve! Thanks for making my day complete! BTW I always loved Frank Zappa but did think he gave his kids weird names. Bet the little girl loved explaining the name Moon Unit to all the other kids. Probably went something like this," My dad is just a really weird father but I think it could be worse. He could have named me Dip Shit or something like that so I guess Moon Unit isn't too bad after all." On a personal note Eve I like what George Foreman named all his kids. Instead of thinking up some cutesy name he just named all the boys George, no Jr's or the third etc just plain old George. Bet that really messed up the boys when He shouted out "I said stop that George!" Oh well I can only say I'm glad my parents gave me a simple name! Hope all is great with you and yours these days. Thanks again for my chuckle of the day!

  2. OMG!!! This is the FOURTH attempt at a reply! Something fucky's going on with my computer.
    Anyways, Do you remember the Dorito's commercial with George Foreman and his boys...."Four out of five George Foreman's agree, new Dorito's tastes better....."....or something like that. It was pretty funny.
    My brother was into Frank Zappa, but I couldn't stand to listen to him for more than a minuter or two.
    The funniest thing is, the day after I posted this, I heard that Ashton and Mila named their new DAUGHTER, Wyatt!!!!
    I don't know when this trend of giving little girls boy names started, but to me it's weird.....Now watch me get a bunch of hate mail...."My grandmother's name was dare you!" I still say it's weird....and I am a person who embraces weirdness....
    Anyways Ron, all the best to you and your family! Hope things are sensational in your world!

  3. Crap! Eva, I just did a fairly long comment and then I hit the Sign Out button instead of the Publish button. Why do they have a Sign Out button THERE! Oh well, never mind then.
    Great post as always Eve. Keep 'em coming.

    1. Hey Jane!! I don't know why there's a sign out button right seems like it's set up just to mess with us. I've done stuff like that too...especially when I'm texting! I tend to press 'send' way before I really want to....I think it's because my fingers work faster than my mind. Hope everything's great with you. The paintings are probably fighting to make it out of your brain eh?! So awesome.

    2. Oh yes, but too much in the brain, and not out. I need to get it out on paper (or some other substrate). I'll have something again Monday or Tuesday. I'm not sure what it will be, but it will be something. I'd like to get to the point where I can post something every day.

    3. My computer's acting up again, so I hope this reply makes it! were saying something before about coming this way in the new year?! that would be amazing! I'd love to see you's only been, what? 36 years or so?!!! It'll be great. I can't wait to see your new painting. I've been giving thought to the idea of starting an art far I've only done the one first one in about 20's a start. You've inspired me. Keep up the good work Jane!

  4. I wish our autumn in L.A. were merely warm and not blazing hot like it's been. This year it almost seems like global warming is real.

    I would never curse a kid with a name like Myrtle. A lifetime of being called Myrtle the Turtle. I'll stick to nice traditional names.

    Tossing It Out

  5. Hey Lee! It's been so gorgeous here it's ridiculous. Today is supposed to be our last day of awesome autumn weather though. They say the rainy season is gonna start tomorrow.
    I'm with you on the name thing. I don't know what's worse, a girl named Myrtle, or a girl named Dave....which is a possibility the way this boy names for girls trend is going.


Comments are most appreciated.