A Great Autumn, Nursery Rhymes and Names

We are having the greatest fall here!
 I mean the season.
 Autumn.
It's been so warm and sunny, but also cool...it's strange...autumn.
 It's like the year is at its most beautiful when it's dying....even though that does sound super corny...it seems to be true. Sometimes there's a grain of truth in corny sayings.....(which is a corny saying(!))
I guess the year isn't dying though....the summer is...still.

You know what no one says anymore?
'Sensational'. As in, "I saw this sensational movie on Friday."
The word 'sensational' is out of fashion. As is the name 'Matilda'.  And also 'Myrtle'.

I just saw on tv tonight that Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis had a baby girl, and the couple is "over the moon about it!"....and I thought....'isn't that what always happens?'
 You don't often see the new parents go, "Well. Frankly we're not too happy with it. It's got a head like a wedge of brie. We'd like a refund."

I wonder if they'll name her Myrtle?! That would be great for all those Myrtles who have been left out of the name tag industry. Suddenly Myrtle will be a popular name again.
And when that happens, there will be people who will claim that they've always liked the name Myrtle, even though the evidence will prove otherwise.
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Those celebrities always give their kids screwed up names. Like Methuselah. That is most likely some poor kids name. Well, he or she is not really a 'poor' kid. They've got money. What they don't got is a regular name.
And for some of them, I don't mean that they have a super dorky human name..
(although sometimes they do...let's ask Moses Martin about that.)..
(or a name that is suddenly assigned to the opposite sex???? like if a girl is called Cameron or Blake...to me it's like having a boy called Debbie....or ....Louise...I mean, you could do it. You could totally call your son Louise if you want to I guess...but just think it over..)...
..I mean...some of them are named after household appliances for god's sake! Like...Frank Zappa's kids...Moon Unit One and Dweezil...what's the matter with people?
 (I mean, not that a 'Moon Unit' is a household appliance or anything...infact, I'm not even sure what it is...I'm pretty sure that it's a 'what', not a 'who' though.....except in the case of poor, unfortunate 'Moon Unit One Zappa'.)
You shouldn't do that to a kid.
It's like calling your kid 'End Table', or 'Grease Trap'.
(Yes, but we call him Greasy, and that's kind of cute.) (Actually....it's pronounced 'Greee-say')

 Of course no one knows who Frank Zappa is anymore, so that's a bad reference I guess...but still...Imagine if your name was Moon Unit...wouldn't you want to throttle the stoner that gave you that name?!

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I was just thinking of that old nursery rhyme, 'Jack Sprat would eat no Fat'.....when I was a kid my brother and I had a book of rhymes and that one was in it.
Each rhyme had a picture beside it, and for this rhyme the picture was a real skinny, nervous looking guy, sitting at the table with a bare plate in front of him.
 There may have been a single bean on it, I forget.
 And the woman, (Jack Sprat's wife) had huge, billowing rolls of fat all over her, and a plate heaped with lumps of fat. She was greasy and smiling.
 Sitting on the floor, looking up at the man, was a super skinny cat.
 I always used to wonder about the cat. Like, why was he so skinny? I mean, the rhyme didn't say anything about the cat being skinny.
In fact, the rhyme didn't mention a cat at all!
When I first saw the picture it was a surprise that they even had a cat....but now that the jig was up, and the cat was out of the bag, (so to speak)...I think he should have been fed.
 Or maybe run away with Old Mother Hubbard's dog.
It was unsettling for me as a pre-schooler to look at that picture. Nursery rhyme people didn't take care of their animals, or their children very well.
I don't know if nursery rhymes are still in style.
Some of them were pretty wicked....mean witches eating little kids...it was all in good fun I suppose...
These days a lot of people don't like nursery rhymes cause they say they are damaging to the children, but you know, I don't ever remember thinking that nursery rhymes were real. I always knew they were made up stories, even when I was small. I think we should not underestimate the intelligence of children.
I read my kids the 'Fe Fi Fo Fum' rhyme, (sorry I forget what it's called) and that one has a guy talking about smelling blood and grinding bones.....hmmmm......on second thought, that doesn't sound quite right does it?
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Call now! Operators are standing by to take your call!
Call 555-FIVE
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Earlier on the news I heard a guy say, "It's clear that this fellow......(blah blah blah)".....and I thought he said, "...this is a clear fellow..."....and that got me to thinking how weird it would be if there WERE clear fellows....or people.
I wonder what that would do to racism? I mean if EVERYONE was clear, not that the clear people become the latest target of racists.
If we were all clear, all we'd see of each other is what's on the inside...not the 'deep inside' though...we'd see what's just on the other side of the skin...muscle and fat mostly.
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I was just thinking of Ken Kesey, and I'm not sure why. He wrote 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest', which was one of my favourite books, and a damn fine movie too!
I don't think he was clear.
Well, maybe he was, but you had to look very carefully.
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Finally, (I know I know, you're thinking THANK GOD!)...I heard that Chelsea Clinton had a baby girl, and I thought, 'Of course she did.'
 I think all the ex Presidents of the USA have daughters, don't they? Well, let's see...Bill and Hilary Clinton have Chelsea, and now little 'grandChelsea', O'Bama has two daughters....who else is there?!?....
OH! I guess Old Bush has a son, doesn't he?
Sounds like a horrible affliction, but sadly, one that awaits us all...
"Sorry Myrtle. There's no easy way to put this. You've got a sensational case of Old Bush."
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And FINALLY....(okay!...I admit the former 'finally' turned out to be a bit of a misnomer as it turns out I have something more to say)...It is a beautiful morning!...it is here anyway...so let's get out and at least take a few deep, full breaths of this sensational, crispy autumn air!
Also, if you're so inclined, try to work the word 'sensational' into a conversation today.
We'll bring it back to its former glory.

Have a sensational day everyone!